Never Again, Spiced Apple Pie
by SurferSquid
Summary: Commander Hyren is bored stiff on Omicron Station. So the universe very kindly hands him a disaster. Published in the Neopian Times, issues 717-719.
1. Chapter 1

_Huge thanks to torkie10 and my awesome proofreader for their editing help._

Grundo's Café was as busy as ever. The canteen on the recreation deck of the Virtupets Space Station held a myriad of Neopets unwrapping their rehydrated Chicken Dumplings and carefully nibbling their Electric Nachos. Wall-mounted screens showed the latest in news and entertainment from around the galaxy, including an interview with some Alien Aisha musicians and the latest strike on Sloth's forces on some far-flung world.

"Order up!" Gargarox, the chef-proprietor, hollered. A light blinked on the overhang above the kitchen, and the Mutant Grundo slid a tray of food to a waiting Stopngo 400. The squat robot Petpet extended its mechanical arms to receive the tray, stomping off with it to one of the tables in the expansive diner.

Not skipping a beat, Gargarox turned back to the food synthesisers and picked up another dish, lumbering over to the long counter surrounding the kitchen to serve a patron sitting there.

It was at this counter that Dark_breed_Hyren the blue Grundo and his owner Terra were perched, enjoying lunch.

"I can never finish these Milkyway Shakes," Terra said, swinging her legs as they dangled from her stool. The brown-haired human woman set down the cup, still half-full of glittering dark beverage. "They're so good… but so filling. Somehow." She slid the shake over to the Grundo. "Want the rest?"

Hyren looked up from his Beef Rouladen and smiled. "Sure," he said.

It had been a good stay on the Space Station with his family. Relaxing, with the occasional chaotic hijinks, and a healthy dose of snark mixed in. It was what made his family the best in the universe.

Now his sister Blynn had gone to pull the Lever of Doom and their brother Pharazon went to make sure she wouldn't blow all their money in the process, which left Hyren to spend lunch with their owner. The massive Space Station that orbited Neopia sported a number of shops and restaurants, but Grundo's was the largest, and had the best reputation as a tourist destination. Hyren didn't much care for such things, but Terra thought the place had a fun atmosphere, and Hyren couldn't say no to her.

Pulling the Milkyway Shake closer, Hyren rested an arm on the counter and inspected the dessert, tilting it to watch the sparkles catch the light. "Yeah, you wouldn't expect the void to provide many calories," he said.

"You think he uses Voidberries?" Terra asked. "It kind of tastes like Voidberries."

"I'm sort of afraid to ask what Gargarox uses," Hyren said with a laugh. "If it's anything like what we had in the Virtupets mess halls…"

The Mutant Grundo himself appeared before them, eclipsing the fluorescent ceiling lights. "Order up!" he said. With one meaty hand, he set in front of Terra a plate stacked with round, slightly flattened magenta shapes that appeared to be glowing in their centres.

"Thanks!" Terra said as she picked up one of the pastries. "Mmmm, spiced apple pie… I don't know why, but this stuff is just ridiculously good."

Hyren stuck out his tongue and held his stomach. "None for me, thanks," he said.

Terra, already halfway through one of the gooey pies, glanced over at him and raised an eyebrow. "You sure?" she asked. "I don't know what makes them glow like this, but I think it's the same thing that makes them super delicious."

"I had a bad experience with spiced apple—" Hyren stopped and stared past his owner, his antennae perked and quivering.

A few stools away, a lean yellow Grundo hoisted himself onto a seat and pressed a button on the counter to lift the stool to an appropriate height for his diminutive stature. The Grundo glanced over at Gargarox's turned back, and then lifted his red eyes to the menu.

Terra turned to see what Hyren was staring at. "What?" she asked.

Hyren cleared his throat, lowering his voice and slouching to make himself less visible. "I… I think that's Dothan Reebitz," he said.

"That name sounds familiar," Terra said..

"He was the Grundo who helped us out on Sloth's flagship all those years ago," Hyren said. "Back when I first met you and Blynn."

"No way," Terra said. "Small galaxy, huh?" She looked back at the Grundo who was possibly Dothan, who was now flicking through screens on a data tablet. "We should say hi."

Hyren stiffened and said, "Let's not."

"Why?" Terra asked before stuffing another spiced apple pie in her mouth. "I'm sure he remembers us. He kind of defected from Sloth because you told him to start thinking for himself, after all. He really looks up to you." She paused and grinned. "And when you were Mutant, he _literally_ looked up to you."

Hyren rolled his eyes as Terra chortled at her own cleverness, but his expression quickly grew more somber. "I don't think he'd want to talk to me," the blue Grundo said. "He's not—we've never really—we never became friends."

"I get the feeling there's a story behind this," Terra said.

"There always is," Hyren said. He turned so his back faced the yellow Grundo, afraid to betray the emotion that glossed over his eyes as he looked up at his owner. "I'll tell you the story of how I met Dothan."

* * *

A week out, and Commander Hyren was already bored of Omicron Station.

Granted, Dr. Sloth had built the interstellar base in a very pretty sector of the void—deep in the heart of the Kadoatie's-Eye Nebula. The view out the windows was to die for. When Hyren had first arrived, every time he passed a viewport he'd paused and stared for a while at clouds of ionised gases bathing in hot starlight, the entire void glowing pinkish-red like a cosmic hearth. Long, clumpy tendrils of sturdier gas stretched like fingers trying to touch a central cluster of newborn stars, brilliant celestial jewels around which whirled soupy discs of protoplanetary material.

It was amazing, Hyren thought, that although he'd been all over this galaxy and in parts of several others, each bit of the universe was just as beautiful as the last.

But Hyren was in charge of planetary invasions and occupations, not void ops, and he'd been stationed on Omicron Station during a rare lull in Sloth's plans. Sometimes, things worked so well for the overlord that his elite commanders had nothing to do but kick back and recuperate for a while. Hyren worked hard to validate his privileged position, and he enjoyed the relaxation—for about two days. Then the itch hit to get out there and start _doing things_ again and it drove him crazy.

He was still trying to figure out if it was because he was a naturally pro-active and intelligent Neopet, or because his mutant Grundo metabolism meant he bounced back from things a lot quicker than most people.

Or maybe it was the lack of a social life. Commander Garoo and his Garoo Elites were as close as siblings, and Commander Gormos could strike up a conversation with anyone in his starfleet. Commander Hyren was a loner.

It came naturally to him, first on his home world of Doran where he'd felt so misunderstood by the other Grundos, and now here in Sloth's army. He had a difficult time forming connections with other Neopets—not that he really tried, as he was perfectly content absorbing himself in his work.

It didn't help that the mutant Grundo troops Hyren commanded were mind-wiped drones who he could literally not have a conversation with if he tried. In fact, when not deployed, they were kept in stasis sleep, leaving Hyren one of the only "active" mutant Grundos on Omicron Station. Which of course made him feel even more out of place.

At least there was food. Food dulled the boredom.

The doors to the base's mess hall slid open for Hyren and he stepped into the enormous cafeteria, filled with all manner of officers. The air was thick with conversation, and Hyren's antennae picked up on some of it as he trundled over to the food line. No one was talking about anything interesting today—just the usual petty drama between officers, or how the kids were doing back home, or that same blasted rumour about Alien Aisha activity the next star cluster over.

Hyren loaded his tray with pizza protein blocks and savoury cratered pastries, stocking up on tasty protein and carbohydrates for his muscle-bound frame. After this, he planned to hit the gym and then maybe run a few training simulations to keep himself sharp.

As he reached the end of the food displays, he glanced over the dessert section with an upturned lack of nose. He'd never had much of a sweet tooth and regarded desserts as empty energy.

The magma Tuskaninny in front of him thought differently. Her fiery eyes lit up and she reached for one plate after another, piling them onto her tray as she said, "Ooh, it's Spiced Apple Pie for dessert today!" With a third plate in her flipper, she breathed in deeply. "Looks like a good batch! Mm, smell that aroma!"

She looked over her shoulder at Hyren and said, "Better get some before—" Upon really seeing him, she did a bit of a double take and her jaw hung for a moment. "Er—I'm sure—there will be plenty left for you, Commander—"

It did smell good, Hyren conceded. He shrugged and the Tuskaninny shuffled away, her gaze lowered.

Due to his rank and his size, Hyren could intimidate practically anyone without even trying. Everyone gave him a wide berth, and few people attempted to speak to him unless they had to. One did not address the person in charge of Sloth's entire invasion forces like he was an equal, after all.

Which was all well and good to Hyren, since other Neopets tended to annoy him. He narrowed his eyes at the rows of Spiced Apple Pies, innocuously glowing with their tantalising smell. Maybe some dessert every once in a while wouldn't hurt.

"Get a move on," the brown Eyrie behind him grumbled.

Hyren shot him a withering glare and slowly turned, drawing himself up higher to show off more of his massive bulk. He was still slightly taller than the Eyrie, but the two were closely matched in build. "Do you know who I am?" Hyren growled.

The Eyrie scoffed, fluffing his wings. "Like I know everyone in the corps," he said.

The Mutant Grundo jabbed a thick finger at the rank insignia on his chest. That and an unimpressed glower were enough to get his point across without words.

The Eyrie flinched and drew back half a step, beak clacking. "C-Commander Hyren—s-sorry, sir!" he said. "T-take your time! Sir!"

Hyren snorted and plucked one of the pies from the counter, shoving it onto his tray and stomping off to the furthest unoccupied table. People here should know good and well who he was.

Everyone should know him, Hyren thought as he ate. He was more important than most of them. Those beneath him were just cogs in Dr. Sloth's grand machine of galactic conquest. They were expendable. But Hyren had qualified from the beginning for everything Sloth had to offer him: strength, control, autonomy. In return the commander worked hard and ensured that he stayed worthy of his rank. He was so much more than these nobodies could ever be. They had their stations and assignments, but in the end, it was Neopets like Hyren, Garoo, and Gormos who actually made the difference.

Except when they were stuck on base with nothing to do. "I'm so bored," Hyren muttered to himself through a bite of pastry. Shoving another pizza block in his mouth, he mentally went over the sword technique he'd been developing. Testing it in the sims would at least keep him occupied.

"Commander Hyren?" a voice asked.

He glanced up. Sitting across from him was an unmutated, yellow Grundo wearing the insignia of an ensign. The other Grundo's red eyes were wide as he stared up at the Mutant from beneath a salute.

Hyren wondered if maybe there was something on his face. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Oh, it _is_ you!" the yellow Grundo said, bouncing in his seat. "This is amazing—I never thought I'd really get to meet you! I heard through the network that you'd been stationed here, and I confess I'd kind of been keeping an eye out—"

Everything after that was a blur as Hyren was overwhelmed with the realisation that he had a fanboy.

He knew he was famous. As a commanding officer who only answered to Sloth, who was responsible for the occupation of countless worlds and systems, Hyren was as much in the spotlight as Garoo and Gormos. But on a practical level, he found it much easier to keep to himself. He had firmly established himself as one of those people best admired from afar.

At times he'd entertained the daydream of meeting one of his fans. The Neopet would be tripping over themselves to meet him and Hyren would feel important.

Now it was actually happening and it was just awkward.

"—eebitz," the yellow Grundo was saying.

Hyren snapped out of his daze and shook his head. "What?" he asked.

"Ensign Dothan Reebitz, sir," the yellow Grundo said. "I'm in communications. I've been here for a couple of years now."

"Oh," Hyren said. "Okay." He peered more closely at the strangely chipper Grundo. Unlike everyone else, Dothan showed no signs of being tense around the commander. Hyren wondered if maybe all that fiddling with computers all day long had messed with the ensign's head.

He looked around the room. All of the other tables had multiple Neopets at them. This was the most solitude he was going to be able to get at this meal. Plus, some of the other Neopets were acting strangely—swaying in their seats and slouching over their trays. Maybe they hadn't gotten enough sleep last night-cycle.

Dothan took a bite of his Intergalactic Spiced Beans. "Amazing job securing the Artru system, by the way!" he said. "I was watching the news feeds the whole time! Those tactics you used to outmanoeuvre the resistance were incredible!"

"Thanks," Hyren said, hoping that short answers would make the guy stop talking. He popped his last pastry in his mouth and picked up his Spiced Apple Pie. Glancing over, he noticed there was no dessert on Dothan's plate. "You're not getting any pie?" he asked, hoping to make Dothan head back to the food line.

"Nope," Dothan said. "I'm allergic to glowspice. That's okay—I caught a message that tomorrow is Chocolate Eclair Paste day!"

Hyren took a bite of his own pie and his antennae perked. It _was_ good—powerfully flavoured, with just the right amount of sweetness to balance out the tart apples and pungent glowspice. The crispy crust made a perfect contrast to the gooey filling. He decided he'd found his new favourite dessert.

"Oh, I keep meaning to ask," Dothan said, "what's the make of your swords? You're—"

"'Scuse me," someone groaned, bumping into Hyren's back.

Hyren turned around to scowl at them, but stopped when he saw it was a very ill-looking red Buzz, holding his stomach with one hand over his mouth. The Buzz looked as if he wanted to say something else, but then his eyes bulged and he took off running toward the washroom.

The two Grundos watched him retreat until the washroom doors slid closed behind him. "That was weird," Hyren said. Glancing around, he noticed several other Neopets staggering toward doors or wastebaskets, while some just collapsed.

He would look into it, he decided, after he finished his Spiced Apple Pie.

Dothan seemed more concerned, drumming his fingers on the table for a moment before looking back to the commander. "A-anyway," he said, "you're mentioned a ton in the _Weapons Weekly_ galaxy-net feed, but it's all just speculation what kind of swords you use, because you never do any interviews! I heard from one gal in the orbital forces that you get them from Shoyrux Enterprises, but there's been speculation they're a custom job here at Virtupets—"

The station jolted and the lights flickered. Now this was something Hyren could not ignore. He swallowed the rest of the pie and jumped to his feet. "What was that," he said. Had the Alien Aisha rumours been true after all?

In the rest of the mess hall, a number of Neopets had the same reaction—the ones that weren't busy getting sick. Soldiers were moaning queasily and passing out, sprawled across tables or on the floor. And more and more people looked ill by the second.

Dothan picked up his tray as though he was determined not to leave his lunch behind. "Well, this isn't good, is it, Commander?" he asked.

The station rattled again. This time the lights died entirely. A split second later, dim backup lighting turned on, casting an eerie twilight over the mess hall.

Hyren took a few deep breaths. Now he and Dothan were the only ones left standing in the room. Something had attacked them, he guessed that much. But what could cause a lurch like that? And why hadn't the defence systems kicked in, or anyone even been alerted?

He and Dothan apparently both had the same idea—to head for the communications console near the door. The two began to wade through the sea of unconscious and sick Neopets.

Halfway there, the nausea hit. It slammed Hyren like a punch in the gut, and it felt like his entire abdomen was cramping. Hyren shuddered and fell to his knees, overcome with the sensation that there was a war going on in his stomach. "Okay then," he grunted, planting one large hand on the cold floor. Now would not be an opportune time to lose his lunch. Not the least because he might step in it in the dark.

"Commander!" Dothan said, rushing to his side. "Are you all right?"

"Nope," Hyren breathed. "Never mind that. Go contact Engineering like you're supposed to—ask them what the heck's going on." He swallowed hard, closed his eyes, and willed his digestive system to work properly.

Eyes still closed, he listened to Dothan make his way to the console and tap on the display. "Mess hall to Engineering," the officer said. "Come in, are you there?" More tapping. "Engineering, do you read?"

"Try Command," Hyren said.

Even more tapping. "Command? Do you copy?"

Nothing.

Hyren opened his eyes to see the ensign scrolling through menus. "What's going on?" the mutant croaked.

Dothan sighed and splayed his fingers across the screen, deftly manipulating several menus at once. "Something's brought down the network, Commander," he said. "This whole station is offline."

"Blast it," Hyren hissed. "What in the galaxy…" A faint pink glow nearby caught his attention. In the paw of an unconscious Kyrii was a half-eaten Spiced Apple Pie.

Hyren's eyes widened and he looked up at Dothan, who was displaying absolutely no symptoms. Here was one mystery solved, at least. He snatched the pie from the limp Kyrii. "Something's poisoned the Spiced Apple Pie!" the commander said.

"What?!" Dothan said. He knelt down beside Hyren and inspected the dubious dessert. "Sabotage?"

"Maybe," Hyren said. He sniffed at it, as much as it turned his stomach to do so. It didn't smell off, just incredibly delicious. More so than usual? Was that why it had been such a hit at lunch?

He took a closer look at it. In the illumination of the glowspice, Hyren inspected the syrupy filling, trying not to gag as he did so. It was the last thing he wanted to deal with right now, but as the station shuddered again he knew he had no other choice.

"What are those pink bits?" Dothan asked. "I've never seen those in a Spiced Apple Pie before."

With one thick finger, Hyren fished around in the warm filling and drew out a veneer of the goop. Sure enough, swimming in the apples and spices were small globs of pink. A few sported long filaments like tentacles, and some had broken open and were oozing green slime.

The commander's eyes widened and he tossed the pie away in disgust. "Space Fungus!" he said. "Space Fungus got into the Spiced Apple Pie!"

"Oh, that's not good at all," Dothan said, inching away from the dastardly pastry. "The nutrition synthesisers are supposed to detect and remove any contaminants far before food reaches the mess hall."

Hyren forced himself to his feet. "Man, that stuff throws you for a loop," he groaned, holding his stomach. He looked around at the other Neopets, still out cold. Apparently ingesting Space Fungus did that to a normal person. He had possibly only stayed conscious because of his body mass and metabolism.

And now he and Dothan were the only ones not debilitated by food poisoning while the base was mysteriously under attack.

Well, at least he wasn't bored any more.


	2. Chapter 2

Hyren knew he at least couldn't secure the base from here. Suppressing a moan, he moved for the door and it slid open to reveal a darkened, deserted hallway. If engineering wasn't going to answer, he'd just have to go to them himself. After he collected his weapons and armour from his dormitory, of course. Adrenaline would just have to help him ignore the nausea.

"I sure am glad I'm allergic to glowspice, aren't you?" Dothan asked.

Hyren froze and turned around. The ensign was trailing him like a hapless baby Nedler. "Just don't get in my way," Hyren said.

Their bare feet sounded on the floor as they made their way toward the lifts. They passed no one else, and all was silent. It seemed as though everyone but Dothan had eaten the Spiced Apple Pie. And with the ship's network down, any nearby robot Petpets wouldn't be of much assistance. Not that Hyren could spot any.

He pushed the lift button, and in response got nothing but a red indicator light. He stared up at it, wishing it meant anything but that the lifts were in lockdown. Standing back, he contemplated prying the doors open with his bare hands and climbing up the lift cable. His stomach protested and he winced.

"The whole base is in lockdown, Commander," Dothan said. The yellow Grundo was now bent over another communications console, watching the scrolling information on the screen.

The station lurched again and Hyren clung to a wall for support. The stomachache was easier to endure when his world wasn't moving around him. "Can you get a diagnosis on the shielding?" he asked.

"I could if the network was working, sir," Dothan said.

"I'll get a manual diagnosis, then," Hyren said. That was military jargon for looking out the window. Hyren opened the nearest door into an office space and scrambled to the viewport on the outer wall.

He pressed his hands against the transparent panel and his antennae drooped. "Oh, Kiko snot," he said.

Outside were no enemy ships or bursts of laser fire, but a swarm of pink spores and larger, spongy lumps with tentacles. Farther away, another block of the station was covered in an enormous pink mass. Tendrils of it wrapped around the hull of the base, extending to a network of smaller lumps.

Hyren pounded a fist on the wall. "Blast it, we're supposed to have sensors for Giant Space Fungi!" he said.

"I've been seeing a lot of messages requesting fungus sensor maintenance," Dothan said from beside him, "but they were never followed up on. I'll bet you'd never put up with that sort of negligence, sir!"

"Blasted right I wouldn't," Hyren growled, grinding a fist into his palm. But what could he do about it? Stuck in this sector, he couldn't access his weapons, or more importantly his armour which had built-in atmospheric shielding for void traversal.

Then he remembered what he was dealing with and knew he should be thinking bigger. Which meant thinking about how he couldn't access the Mutant Grundo trooper stasis archives. If only he could unleash them for an assault—

"I'll contact engineering, sir!" Dothan said.

"I thought you couldn't," Hyren said. "You said the network is offline."

"I can't access it from any of these consoles," Dothan said, "but if I can get to the nearest network control room, I can try some overrides. Phew, it's a good thing I took that training course last year…"

"First, help me find an emergency station," Hyren said, eying the doors lining the hallway. "You know protocol—this is a biohazard situation. We're going to need breather masks." Better safe than sorry, especially when dealing with Space Fungus, which had a nasty habit of infesting every nook and cranny of anything it came in contact with.

They moved back to the hallway, and Dothan leaped to a narrow door marked with the cleaning crew insignia. To Hyren's relief, the door opened on its own. As much as the commander enjoyed throwing his weight around, his stomach was still highly displeased with him. Just the thought of Spiced Apple Pie made him want to gag. Perhaps that was for the best. It was too delicious for his own good, anyway.

As the ensign rustled around in the closet, Hyren moved to the control panel by the mess hall doors and initiated the emergency override. With the squealing thunk of hydraulics, Hyren knew the room had been sealed off. That was about as good of a defence against Space Fungus as the helpless Neopets inside were going to get, for now.

Dothan came back with two breather masks, and he and Hyren each strapped one on. The masks were made of a flexible material designed to accommodate any Neopet species type, although Hyren could feel the strain around his large head and thick neck. Still, if they could fit Grarrls and Skeiths, they would fit him.

"Go," Hyren ordered, pointing down the hall. In the meantime he began to seriously contemplate climbing the lift shaft, nausea be blasted.

Dothan just stood there.

Hyren narrowed his eyes. "What?" he asked.

"Commander Hyren, sir," Dothan said, "I'd feel a lot better if you went with me."

"There's no reason for me to go along," Hyren said. "I'm going to go wake up my troops."

"But sir!" Dothan said. "What if I run into trouble? And… I'll never get to fight under your command—but how amazing would it be to say I helped Commander Hyren save Omicron Station?"

Hyren pinched the noseless bridge of bone between his eyes. "That's a stupid reason, Reebitz," he said. "I'm not going. I have other matters to attend to."

The yellow Grundo's shoulders slumped. "Yes, sir," he said as he trudged away.

Hyren turned to the lifts. At least some people around here respected his authority. He felt no emotional obligation to the communications officer. Dothan was just a product of unfortunate coincidence—or perhaps fortunate coincidence, if his plan to contact engineering worked. There was a problem and they were both scrambling to solve it, and that was the extent of it. Now it was time for them to go their separate ways.

The Mutant Grundo reached for the lift doors, pried his fingers between them, and pulled. His stomach flopped, but he gritted his teeth and ignored it. With a shout, he dragged the doors open, listening to the satisfying sound of metal grinding against mechanisms. Sometimes he just had to smash something because it felt good.

He was just reaching out for the thick cables that hung in the middle of the shaft, when he heard a voice from the other end of the hall. "Commander?" Dothan shouted. "I could really use your help!"

Hyren sighed. Turning around, he saw the yellow Grundo standing by the large, thick blast door at the far end of the hallway.

"It's locked," Dothan said, "and I can't get through. The control room is on the other side."

Hyren looked from the lift shaft back to Dothan. If he left the ensign stranded here, the network wouldn't come back up. Especially if everyone in engineering also had Spiced Apple Pie for lunch. But Hyren and his troops could still—

His eyes widened. No, they couldn't. The Grundo troopers were all linked to the station network. Hyren wouldn't even be able to get them out of stasis.

Which meant he was stuck helping this negghead a little longer than Hyren would have liked.

With a heavy sigh, he trudged back down the hallway to the diminutive communications officer. "I got it," he said. Letting his frustration fuel him, Hyren slammed his hands into the door panels, denting them slightly, and wrenched them aside with a shower of sparks and the squeal of metal.

The sight that met his eyes made his stomach do another flop. The hallway was covered in Space Fungus—clumped over vents, growing in pink burbling mounds in the corners, and stretched in swaying tendrils from the ceiling to the floor. The air was dusty with faintly glowing spores.

Hyren was glad he'd thought to procure the masks. If they had taken even a breath of that air unfiltered—well, he'd have a lot more than nausea to deal with. Pulling Dothan away, he closed the doors and slumped against a wall. "Kiko snot, Kiko snot, Kiko snot," the commander hissed. "That stuff is everywhere."

"But that's the only passage to the control room," Dothan said, his antennae drooping.

"Then we're going to need some defence," Hyren said. "That fungus can get aggressive when it grows to that size." If he wasn't so sick, he would have relished the challenge. As the first of Sloth's forces on each new world they occupied, Hyren was in his element when it came to being resourceful in a wide variety of environments and circumstances. Even with the nausea, he'd had too many long ages of experience to back down from this now. Not to mention, if he didn't do anything, he doubted anyone else could.

"Well," Dothan said, "I saw a broom in the janitor's closet—"

"Nah, I'm gonna need something a little more heavy-duty," Hyren said. "Stay put—I'll be right back." He jogged back into the office where they'd spied the fungus from the viewport. His stomach did not like jogging, but Hyren mentally told it to put a sock in it. He could deal with food poisoning later—after he made sure the base wasn't overrun.

Reaching for the lone desk in the room, Hyren grabbed one of its thick metal legs and twisted. The leg snapped off, leaving Hyren with an impromptu bludgeoning weapon. He grinned and gave it a few test swings—a little shorter than he would have liked, and the leverage was a bit tricky, but he could get used to it.

That was one of the many perks of his rank, Hyren thought. He could get away with as much structural damage as he wanted and not really have to answer to anyone. Except Sloth, but Sloth would understand.

Content in that thought, he stepped back out into the hallway, where Dothan stood, holding the broom.

"I'm good, thanks," Hyren said, hefting his club on his shoulder.

"It's for me, sir," Dothan said. "I've only had basic combat training, but I don't want us to be caught unawares."

It was almost cute, Hyren thought. He was sure he himself could do more than a good enough job of protecting them both, but he would let the little yellow guy feel tough for a bit. "Fine. Let's go," he said. Taking point, he led Dothan back to the infested hallway.

The two Grundos squelched their way through globs of fungus that reminded Hyren nauseatingly of pie filling. Dothan accidentally brushed his broom up against a puffball and it exploded, showering them with glowing spores that stuck to their skin and clothes. Hyren glared at the officer, who didn't seem to notice.

"Head left when we reach the intersection," Dothan said, brushing aside a few hanging tendrils. "The control room will be at the end of that hallway."

Said hallway turned out to be long and dark, eerily silent and lit only by the sparse emergency light and the luminescence of spores. "Stay close," Hyren said, holding his club out in front of him as he advanced into the shadows. He continued to feel the occasional tremor as the main body of the fungus slowly took over the hull of the station. Hopefully, he thought, not everyone on the base had eaten Spiced Apple Pie for dessert. He got the sinking feeling he was going to need more than Grundo troopers to clean up this mess.

Something moved in the darkness and Hyren froze. Tensing, he dug his toes into the fungus-laced floor and tightened his grip on his weapon.

"Commander!" Dothan yelled from behind him.

Hyren whipped around. Two tentacles had grabbed the officer by the ankles, and he was trying to swat them away with his broom.

With a mighty swing, the commander whacked the fungus. It deflated with a sickening squeal, slackening its grip enough for Hyren to pull Dothan away. "Fall behind me—get to the door!" Hyren barked, pointing to the end of the hall. Time was running out.

Another set of tentacles swung down from the ceiling and Hyren swiped at them with his club, tearing them from the root-like webbing overhead. A sharper weapon would be better for this, he bemoaned, but he would make do with what he had. He always did.

As he batted away another tentacle, Hyren realised the end of the hallway they were running toward was covered in fungus. "Please tell me there's not supposed to be a door there," he said.

"The control room door," Dothan panted.

Hyren sighed and smacked his club against a puffball out of spite. "I hate Space Fungus," he said. He knew what he had to do, and it wasn't pretty, and his stomach did not like the idea either. He told it to hold off on griping at least until they got into the control room. Which hopefully had not been overtaken by an entity that spelled death for electronics. Gritting his teeth, he kept running.

"Commander—I think they're ganging up on us!" Dothan said.

Hyren glanced over his shoulder and hissed. The fungus was moving—not just tentacles, but entire clumps now, oozing toward the two Grundos.

The commander reached the overgrown door and plunged his hands into the fungal growth, tearing it away until he started to see metal.

Dothan bumped against his leg. "C-Commander…" he stammered.

"I'm going, I'm going!" Hyren said. He just needed to find the door seam—there it was. In his next breath he dropped the table leg, lunged for the crack, wedged his fingers into it, and pulled. The familiar scrape of metal was joined with the ripping of fungus and Hyren gagged, falling to his knees as his vision swam.

But it had paid off. Behind the door was an intact control room, miraculously untouched by fungus. Well, there were a few clumps around the edges, but the computers were still working, at least.

Dothan squirmed past him into the small tunnel Hyren had dug out of the fungus, and Hyren crawled through after him. These technical maintenance areas were not meant for Neopets of Hyren's bulk, and as Dothan jumped onto the chair at the console bank, Hyren curled up against the gap in the door without much space to do anything else.

His heart pounded and each heartbeat seemed to aggravate his stomach further. He mentally cursed himself over and over for stupidly eating dessert. _Never again, Spiced Apple Pie. Never again._

Meanwhile, Dothan typed like mad on the console. The screens lit up with myriad menus as the grave-faced ensign hunched over the keyboard, his antennae perked forward.

"Okay… there's the network access hub, where are the admin override functions…" Dothan muttered to himself. "Ah, right... I swear, it's impossible to find anything on this new user interface, I don't see why they had to go and change it…"

Hyren felt a pressure on his back. At first it was like a good massage and actually seemed to be alleviating his nausea.

Then he realised there was no one around to massage his back.

Dothan hunched his shoulders. "No—come on, you blasted thing," he hissed, "I just want to restore the network and that only requires sub-admin privileges—oh wait, someone had the settings wrong, gah…"

Hyren felt around for his club. He'd left it on the other side of the door. Which was now jiggling like something was trying to force the panels further apart. "Reebitz—hurry it up!" he yelled, hoping his broad back could hold out as an effective wall.

"I've got the network back online!" Dothan said. He reached up to one of the screens and swept a hand across it, dialing on the holographic keypad. "Engineering! Engineering, do you copy?! This is an emergency!"

The doors burst open.


	3. Chapter 3

A wriggling pink mass of Space Fungus splayed its tentacles into the control room, bowling over Hyren. He almost got sick right there, but he forced himself to keep his composure and complete the roll, springing back up to punch away a tentacle and wrestle several more.

"This is Engineering!" a female voice fizzed from behind Hyren. "How in blazes are you contacting us?"

"I managed to restore the network!" Dothan said. "We're under Space Fungus infestation!"

"I know that!" the other voice snapped. "I've been trying to activate the repellent systems for half an hour now!"

Hyren tried to wrench the doors closed. It didn't work, both because the dense fungus wouldn't get out of the way, and because Hyren's own stomach was still in upheaval. His strength was failing him as he had to use more and more of his energy to control his digestive system.

"What's taking so long?!" Dothan asked.

"There's too much exterior growth!" the other officer said. "It's gotten into all of the hull systems and we can't do anything about it from the inside!"

"So tell Command to send out a starfighter squadron!" Hyren grunted, shoving back another swell of fungus.

"No one in Command is responding!" she said. "And we here are dealing with a serious case of food poisoning! I'm the only one who's not too sick to move!"

Hyren groaned. "As your commander, I order you to do something about this!" he said.

"We _can't!_ " she said. "You won't get any help from inside this station, I'm sorry!"

The Mutant Grundo's antennae dropped and the sick pit in his stomach grew sicker. His rank was useless in this situation. With a roar of frustration, he yanked at a tentacle.

The connection fizzled. "Look, just—get to—escape pod—"

"We can't!" Dothan said. "We're stuck!"

Silence.

The communications officer dropped a fist onto the console. "Kiko snot," he said.

The realisation that they might not make it out of this settled on Hyren like a chilling fog. It only lasted a moment before the fire of his determination burned it away. They were going to get out or go down fighting.

"Can you call them back?" he asked, shoving a shoulder into the Space Fungus to keep it at bay.

Dothan scrolled down a hologram. "The connection cut out on their end," he said. "The fungus must have overrun their power."

"So get a hold of someone else," Hyren said. Trying to fend off this pest barehanded was not working. He needed more firepower. Unfortunately, his options were limited.

He looked over his shoulder at the tiny room and spotted a block of servers mounted in a rack on the wall. Punching away the fungus, getting a face full of spores for it, and being grateful for the breather mask, Hyren reached for the servers. "Do you need these right now?" he asked Dothan.

Dothan looked up at him and his eyes widened. "No, but—"

Hyren wrenched them from the rack and chucked them at the fungus. The pink mass squealed and retreated enough for the Mutant Grundo to squeeze the doors shut a little more.

"Commander, those had important files on them!" Dothan said.

" _I'm_ an important file," Hyren said. He leaned against the door, panting. "Call someone else, Reebitz. Before I dismantle more of this place."

"I'm trying, sir," Dothan said, gnawing on his lip, "but no one is responding."

Hyren looked around the room for alternate exits. The sole ventilation duct was far too small to even fit Dothan. And Hyren was not feeling up to attempting to plough through a wall.

He closed his eyes. This was not how he wanted it to end.

"Wait," Dothan said.

Hyren opened his eyes to see Dothan leaning over the keyboard, eyes transfixed on the screen. "What?" the commander asked.

"Earlier this day-cycle," the ensign said, "two starfighter squadrons left on training drills. If I remember their communications correctly, they should still be in the vicinity!" Dothan's fingers flew into action as he typed furiously, and then plunged his hand into a hologram. "Griefer Squadron, Wain Squadron! Do you copy?!"

For a moment there was a horrible silence that seemed to Hyren to stretch forever. Then—

"Omicron Station, this is Griefer Leader, you're fuzzy but I read you."

"Wain Leader to Omicron Station, reporting in."

Both Grundos shared a sigh. "Return to base immediately!" Dothan said. "This is an emergency! Space Fungus has overrun the station and put everything out of commission! You have to blast it away, or we're done for!"

"We're on it," Griefer Leader said.

"Hang tight," added Wain Leader. "We'll be there in a nanosec!"

Dothan looked over his shoulder and gave Hyren a weak smile, and the commander returned it. There was hope.

The doors rattled and then were shoved open again, sending Hyren flying onto the computer console. He impacted the main screen with a grunt, cracking it, and Dothan ducked to avoid being crushed.

As the fungus advanced on them, Dothan said quietly, "Well, at least we may have saved the station."

Hyren knew that tone. It was the sound of someone resigned to their fate. And considering what Dothan had just accomplished, Hyren was not about to let fate have either of them yet. He pushed himself up and grabbed the back of the ensign's shirt. "Can you swim?" he asked.

"What?" Dothan asked.

"Never mind," Hyren said. "Just hold your breath and hold on." Hyren tucked Dothan under one arm like a Zurroball, took a deep breath, and plunged into the fungus.

It was like swimming in Spiced Apple Pie filling – sort of the same colour, too – and it was enough to turn Hyren's stomach several times over. But he forced himself to keep going, to kick and squirm through the warm goop that kept trying to ensnare him. It had to end sometime, he thought as his lungs began to burn. At the same time he realised Dothan had a smaller lung capacity, and Hyren knew he had to hurry.

Finally his head breached the surface, he cleared off the air intakes of the breather mask, and he took an enormous gulp of filtered air. A moment later he pulled Dothan up to do the same, and then kicked them both out of the fungus.

Hyren didn't give Dothan time to sprawl on the floor coughing, but scooped him up again, summoned the last of his strength, and ran out of the infested hallway, back to the corridor with the mess hall. He didn't stop there, but kept going to the lifts.

There, he dropped Dothan beside the open doors, fell to his knees, ripped off his mask, and lost his lunch down the lift shaft.

"Commander…" Dothan said once Hyren was done. "You saved my life. Thank you."

Hyren sat propped weakly against the wall, feeling loads better already, although his strength was spent. He looked over at Dothan from behind half-closed eyelids and smiled weakly. "Well, you're important, Reebitz," he said. "Had to rescue the guy who just saved Omicron Station." Sure, Hyren had helped him, but when it came down to it, if not for Dothan, they'd all be toast. Suddenly Hyren did not feel as all-important as he used to. Dothan had value, too. So did everyone else in this machine called the Grand Spacefleet of Doctor Frank Sloth. It sort of bothered Hyren, now, that Sloth did not feel that way. For the first time, Hyren realised the doctor was wrong about something.

Dothan grinned bashfully and scratched the top of his bald head. "It was nothing," he said. "Just doing what I had the training for."

The station rocked again and they both stiffened. "Is that the fungus?" Dothan asked.

Hyren sat through a few more jolts. "It seems more rhythmic," he said. "Like… laser fire."

The ensign's face lit up, and Hyren managed another smile as well. "They came!" Dothan said. "We did it! We're going to be okay!"

Hyren would never complain about being bored again, he vowed. Not that he wouldn't get bored after this. He just didn't want the universe to hear him and start getting ideas.

Dothan looked up at the commander. "Sir…" He stopped himself and shook his head. "Never mind, it's stupid."

"What?" Hyren asked.

"Does… this make us friends?" Dothan asked.

Hyren's stomach gave an unexpected flop. No one had ever wanted to be friends with him before. To Sloth he was a subordinate. To Commanders Garoo and Gormos, he was a rival. To everyone else, he was a disagreeable monster. And to his troops—well, his troops couldn't think for themselves.

But now someone wanted to consider him a friend.

His first reaction was fear, and he surprised himself at how vulnerable he was. He was afraid of getting hurt through this association, afraid that Dothan would turn on him. Not that he would ever in a million eons admit that, and the idea that he was vulnerable made him angry at himself, at Dothan, at the situation.

Then the stark reality settled in. There was no room for friendship in Hyren's life. He was utterly devoted to Dr. Sloth and galactic conquest. He had never needed friends before—why should things be any different now?

Hyren had a choice. Something new was staring him in the face and it terrified him. He did not feel prepared. He did not know if he would ever be.

He suddenly realised he was taking far too long to answer Dothan, and he cleared his throat, trying to act nonchalant. "Sorry, Reebitz," he said, "I just don't think it would work. I'm a busy Grundo, and you've got plenty to do here."

The look on Dothan's face was almost enough to change Hyren's mind, but the commander steeled himself. "Look," Hyren said, "I appreciate what you've done and all. You were a valuable ally. But I'm not—the kind of person you want as a friend. Trust me. It's better for us both."

The yellow Grundo said nothing for a moment, then nodded. "Yes… I understand, don't worry, Commander," he said. "I told you it was a stupid idea."

Hyren patted Dothan's shoulder crisply, as though they had never shared an adventure together, never saved each other's lives. "Happens to the best of us," the commander said. "Go to the window and check on the starfighters for me."

As the communications officer trudged into the other room, Hyren forced himself not to watch him go. Then he got up and headed for the lift shaft. It was better this way, he thought as he began to climb down the thick cables. It had to be. Now if only he could get himself to truly believe it.

One thing was for sure, though.

He was never eating Spiced Apple Pie again.

* * *

"Then what happened?" Terra asked, her eyes wide.

"Griefer Squadron and Wain Squadron drove off the fungus," Hyren said, "they managed to get in and start decontaminating, and Dothan and I were heroes. The next day-cycle, I was transferred to an on-world base. I never heard from him again—until he happened to be the officer on the _Triumph_ in charge of contacting me when I met you and Blynn."

His owner picked up another Spiced Apple Pie and bit into it. "Wow," she said, "I didn't know you guys had that much of a history."

"Terra, how can you still eat those after the story I just told you?" Hyren asked.

"Because they're good!" Terra said. "And look, no Space Fungus this time!" She held up the pastry for him to see.

He leaned away, antennae flat against his head. "I believe you," he said. She continued to eat the pie, and Hyren looked aside. "But… I always regretted that decision. Even though I felt like it was too late to do anything about it."

He propped his face in his hand and played absently with the straw of the empty Milkyway Shake. "That's probably why you and Blynn wrapped me around your little fingers so quickly," he said. "The guilt from Omicron Station stayed with me until the Battle of Sakhmet. I guess subconsciously, I told myself that if anything like that ever happened again, I would seize the opportunity and do things differently."

"But that still wasn't exactly a quick decision on your part," Terra said, mussing his antennae. "How many times did you change your mind, like five?"

"Yeah, well, I'm a stubborn old coot," Hyren said. "Just be grateful I had a change of heart, okay?"

Terra licked pie filling off of her fingers and looked over the top of his head. "So are you going to say hi to him?" she asked.

Hyren glanced over his shoulder to see the yellow Grundo dipping into a bowl of Galactic Chicken Soup, and then back to his owner like she was mad. "What did I just finish telling you?!" he hissed.

"That you have an apology to make," Terra said with a dangerous, Blynn-like grin.

Hyren scrutinised her for a moment. He had learned so much from being part of Terra's Neopian family. Not the least of which was the power of forgiveness and compassion. Now he had to turn that on himself.

"Will you come with me?" he asked.

"Of course," Terra said. She hopped off her stool and Hyren eased himself down from his.

Approaching the yellow Grundo, Hyren cleared his throat. "Uhm—Dothan?" he managed to get out.

The other Grundo's antennae perked and he looked down at the unassuming blue Grundo. "Yes? Can I help you?" he asked.

The former commander drew himself up and said, "It's me. Hyren." Terra smiled and waved.

"Oh—Hyren!" Dothan said. "I'm sorry, I didn't recognise you! And is that your owner with you?"

"Yep!" Terra said. "Long time no see!"

"Listen, Dothan—" Hyren said. "I'm sorry. About Omicron Station… I'm really sorry." He ducked his head. "You've always been an excellent friend."

The communications officer – or whatever he did these days – slid down from his stool to regard the Neopet who had once towered over him, and was now slightly shorter than him. "You're still hung up on that?" Dothan asked with a smile. "You don't have to keep beating yourself up about it. I was just starstruck and thought it would be so cool to be friends with one of Sloth's commanders. It was a pretty stupid thing for me to say."

"No," Hyren said, "it was a brave thing for you to say. And if you hadn't said it, I probably wouldn't have my family. So thanks. And I'm sorry."

To his surprise, Dothan enveloped him in a hug, patting his back. "Hey, stop apologising, already!" the yellow Grundo said. "I told you, it's okay!"

Hyren flinched, then hugged him back. "Thanks, Reebitz," he said. "You're the finest ensign I ever met."

"You're not half bad, yourself, Commander," Dothan said with a laugh as they pulled away from each other.

"Hey, can we finish eating lunch with you, Dothan?" Terra asked. "I'd love to hear about what you've been up to!"

"Oh—sure!" the yellow Grundo said. He climbed back on to the stool and patted the one beside him. "Take a seat! Can I get you anything? Another order of Spiced Apple Pie?"

"Yuck," Hyren said, clutching his stomach. "I'm not eating one of those."

"Well," Terra said, "at least now I know why!"

Hyren took a seat next to Dothan and turned to him. "It was Virtupets, by the way," the former commander said. "I had all of my swords custom-manufactured by Virtupets' weapons division. My blasters were always standard-issue, though. Didn't care so much about those."

"I thought so," Dothan said, and from then on they were friends.


End file.
